13 March 2019
(Tim, we're sorry we let you down.)
but made you look like Groundskeeper Willie when they arrived - yet still follow you around in a pop-up box every time you open a new tab.
That's the message Netflix uses to shame you when you still haven't moved, 14 hours into a True Crime docu-series binge.
Dolly Parton's Jolene that your mum keeps putting in the family WhatsApp group ("PMSL!"), and is even more depressing now than when you first heard it a month ago.
to check in on how well you're doing in life only to discover there's a small business owner / cruise line singer / serial killer somewhere in the world who outranks you.
the inexhaustible notifications, informing you your ex girlfriend might be attending an event near you, or your old maths teacher (how get he get on there?) posted a photo for the first time in a while.
that comes with seeing something so beautiful, it can't possibly be captured on an iPhone - but you waste the moment trying nonetheless.
after posting said beautiful moment, as you spend the next 23 hours refreshing to see how many people have looked.